Intractable Thoughts

Friday was such a good day.  Sort of a breakthrough day for some issues around here.  Pink spent the morning at school.  I picked her up at noon, dropped her off at home, told her I would be working late and I would be calling to check in like normal. Off I went to get in some much needed work hours.  I got distracted at work and didn't call until 4:00.

Intractable Thoughts:

huh.  no answer. dial again.  no answer.  come on, come on. I'll wait a few minutes.  probably in the potty. couple minutes. no answer. don't freak-sometimes she can park it in the bathroom as long as the dad. no answer. hanging up before the answering machine can pick so as to have a continuous ring. no answer. again. no answer. dammit. she's so low she doesn't comprehend what the ringing is. no answer. she's passed out. no answer. how long has it been. 15 minutes. shit. there is a reasonable explanation.  then answer the freakin phone.  maybe on computer with loud music.  not logged into facebook.  damn.  no answer.  again.  no answer.  she's been on the floor for hours now because I didn't call earlier to verify a check. time to go. if I don't go, she'll be dead on the floor.  if I do go it'll be OK.  at least it's not snowing.  I've gotta calm down.  breathe in. breathe out.  shit-slow down.  if I kill myself on the highway no one will be home for another couple hours.  I really need to make a if-something-happens-to-mommy document.  please be ok. what would that do to Roo.  what if something happens to one.  how would the other get through that. too dark. she's fine. wonder what the dog is doing if she is in trouble. almost there. review if on floor; frosting in gum, 911 on speaker, glucagon, roll on side, check BG, lock dog in room out of the way. who do I call if...no.  don't hit the garage door with car. why am I pulling into the garage. damn, my legs are wobbly.  in the door. not in main part of house.  Pink? nothing. napping? tired because low?! PINK! omigod, where?! please please no no no. must be in back of the house, turn corner.  hear KPop. shower running.  knock, knock.

"Yeah?" Pink says.

Another One

Roo just told me another child was diagnosed in our school.

GAH!!!

_ _ _ _ _ _ 

(add any and all other expletives here)

That makes 8 in grades 5-12.

EIGHT!

In a town of ~6000.

heartbroken

Intractable

Intractable

Not a word in my every day vocabulary.

But now it will be.

Got My Cray On

Not sure what G Dragon means but for me, I'm gettin' my D-mamma cray-cray on.

WTH, you ask?  Pink is a total K-POPhead.  She is so cute with her 13 year old self.  I suppose I can relate - ie Sean Cassidy (more like 10 y.o. for me!)  Finally giving in, I sat down to check it out with her. The first couple videos were hard to take.  Maybe rethink the bling. Can you say "boy band"? And I don't get into all that look how badass tough I am in any language.  But then she played G Dragon's Crayon. Now I can get behind a good club-like song...and he made me giggle  We watched more. They are so cute! (<--creepy, I know).   Her favorite group is Bing Bang. G Dragon is a member of Big Bang and so is TOP. Hello hotness! (<--getting creepier) I can't stop myself.  Probably late to the game, as always, but hooked!

This TOP video is just scrumptious. (<---all aboard to creepycreepertown).  

So what I thought would be a torturous endeavor in placation ended with my daughter clapping with joy that I could like it, brought me a D-mamma cray-cray anthem, a inappropriate obsession new music genre, and serious eyeliner envy.

Disclaimer: The decision to actually publish this post was made in the fog that is several days of stubborn highs in one and overnight lows in the other.

 

Storage Dreams

Pink had another blood draw :( the other day when we went to see Dr. Feelgood Lookgood GI searching for answers for tummy problems.  We ended up in this little one-off draw room instead of the main lab in the basement.  This blood collector had this awesome organizer on the wall.



I want one.  I think I'd need another row.

Who Cried in the Principle's Office

Me.

It was me.

Crying in the principle's office.

Not 25 27 30 years ago.  Today.

I'm aah-really cool.

Another round of more intense tummy problems for Pink and more school anxiety.  Track started this week for Roo so more frequent night checks with longer wake times and the process of figuring out MDI for track.  An always stressed emotional teeter-totter was groaning and creaking. 

After a long night and morning I went to the school to see what they could offer for Pink.  Mrs. Principle, Mrs. Secretary and a teacher were in the outer office when I walked in.  They all turned and looked at me with those puppy dog sympathy eyes and that started the stress fracture in the teeter-totter.  Mrs. Principle whisked me into her office where she had the audacity to HUG me and all was lost.  On the emotional edge, 3 hours of sleep and someone touching me with support and that damn teeter tottered.  There was never any hope for me once she touched me.  I cried in the principle's office. 

Just one more thing I HATE about this.

Mrs. Principle was, of course, total awesomeness and came up with many options for Pink, we are working with a GI and have a call into a counselor for all three of us.  And tonight I shoved a bunch of carbs down Roo's gullet after track and before dance.  Love a plan.

Wordless Wednesday: All a Bunch of Garbage



12:00am - 1:45am
ETA: yogurt at 2:15 :(