Thursday, September 6, 2012

Looking Back: Dx 2

Looking Back posts are my effort to journal the diabetes times
that have gone before the start of this blog.

Roo, age 14

I thought our lives had changed forever on a Thursday.  And they had.  Then came Sunday.  Sunday was three days after my younger daughter, Pink, had been diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes.  A day we were joining together as a family to show our support for Pink.  A day we all were going to check our blood sugar just like Pink had had to do already so many times in the last three days. 

Pinks older sister, Roo, did not want to have anything to do with this.  Roo does not do well with needles, shots, blood or even talk about blood or the internal workings of the human body.  With a little lot of encouragement pressure Roo agreed to do a blood sugar check.  Poor thing. She must have hovered the lancing device over her finger for 5 minutes.  She declined my offer to do it for her.  With what I can only call a true act of bravery she pricked her finger, applied the blood drop to the strip, 5..4..3..2..1..

435 or something

The world stopped.

My vision started to narrow.  Not really narrow.  It wasn't black.  The area in my peripheral vision seemed to solidify.  It retained all its color and imagery.  Like taking a still picture from a video.  All thought processes seemed to halt.  I remember hearing the air rushing into my nostrils from my breathing. 

sur·re·al  /səˈriəl, -ˈril/ [suh-ree-uhl, -reel]
having the disorienting, hallucinatory quality of a dream

checkCheck mark symbol 

I then proceeded to go through a sort of abbreviated, out of order, pseudo version of the 5 stages of grief stuffed in the following 10 minutes.

Denial:  "That can't be right." This can't be happening.  Did I see that right?  What just happened?  This can't be happening.  That can't be right.

Bargaining:  "Roo, you know how you were eating that Nutrigrain bar with your fingers.  We should wash your hands and recheck."  Yeah, that had to be it.  She flat out refused.  Please, this can't be happening.  Please, let this be a sick joke.

AngerThis is some sick joke!  WTF!!

Acceptance:  Like a zombie I went to the phone to call the on-call endo.  I got a call right back from the nurse practitioner that was on duty for that weekend.  I told him what happened and he asked me when my other daughter was diagnosed...

Depression:  "Thursday," my voice cracking slightly. Don't lose it now.  You've got to hold it together just a little longer.

"ZOINKS!" he answered. 

He said "Zoinks."  Bless his heart.  I liked him immediately.  What more could he say?  It made me think of Scooby Doo right at that second.  Which is better than freaking out any day.  Is it even mentally possible to freak out and think of Scooby Doo at the same time?  He advised us to check Roo's wake-up number and call them back the next day.

I went to talk to Roo but none of us really wanted to think about what was happening.  I told her about the check in the morning and we would probably be going to the clinic.  I think I hugged her.  I HOPE I hugged her.  Certainly I hugged her!  I can't remember much after talking to the nurse practitioner.

I cried.

She woke up in the 200s and when I called the clinic they already knew about us and had an appointment already made.  She was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes that day, Monday, October 18, 2010.  Four days after Pink.


  1. I cannot fathom what tha was like! And I hope I never have to find out, but I have identical twins and one was dx in April'12. We were told there's a 50% chance the other twin will develop it too. At least we've got a few more years before the teenage hormones kick in, he's only 8.
    I look forward to more blogs!

  2. So sorry you had to join this club! Hope things are getting easier each day for you. That first 6 months was intense. I've read more about twins where one has D than both and I hope it stays that way for you!

  3. Hi There. @saraknic shared your blog with me on twitter today. This is a copy of the tweet : "Found a new two kids with D blog from a comment on my blog. @momof2T1s, why is your club so big?! :("
    Why the hell does it seem the multiples club is getting bigger. Is it or is the world just getting smaller?
    4 days does deserve a "Zoinks" and probably a "Wowzers and Jinkies" too. We had just over 2 years. Of course during those two years I knew what could lay (or is it lie - I never frippen know - English is my second language - just behind sarcasm) ahead. My dear daughter had tested positive for those pesky antibodies just after my son's diagnosis. I held my breath and prayed - it still came - snuck in quietly really - hid behind random checks. Alas - two kids. I pray with every ounce of my being it stays at "just" two. My Middles (middle child - he gave himself his non de plume) tested positive for antibodies last October (although we didn't find out the results until Feb). Thing is we are ready to fight this time - all bets are off. He is signed up to start the oral insulin study with TrialNet - starts next week.
    Sorry I digressed into my own life with D - this comment is to say Hi to you. Your writing is amazing. I could read your posts for hours. In fact I did until I came back here to comment.
    I just recently found the DOC and I am so grateful for the amazing people in it like Sara (Moments of Wonderful) - love her to pieces. I hope to see you on twitter. I have tried to keep up with all my favorite blogs and discover more but our family just moved to CA from TX and I am way behind on reading blogs and writing on my own. Moving to a new state the week before school starts with 3 kids (2 with D) has taken so much out of me. I am slowly catching up - at least Im not tripping over as many boxes as of late. If you are on twitter - or get on soon please find me @momof2t1s. Ill come back to your blog again soon and add it to my blogroll so I remember to check in. I must say the price of membership in our club (multiples) sucks (no better word available) but the members are amazing. Hugs always. Christina

  4. Hi Christina. It does suck. I can't imagine having a third...and just waiting. I hope it doesn't develope into anything!!!! Good luck in the TrialNet study! That, two Ds and moving halfway accross the country - - Yikes!! Try to get some rest. No Twitter yet but I sent you a FB request.

  5. I loved this post. I have a creeping feeling we will have a 2nd T1 child, because of random checks with high numbers. Normal A1c...TrialNet results coming late this month or early October, if 4-6 weeks is the correct waiting time...

    Zoinks! Did you meet the Zoinks man in person? I think I love him.

  6. Holy God, I didn't realize you had some high readings. Doesn't mean anything, right! We all have random highs. I will focus energy that you stay out of the multiples club.

    I did meet NP Zoinks! He made a point to come see us during the diagnosis...and everyone else in the office. The exam room was packed. Love, yes. (I still have a little yearning for him to be our D mgmt lead.)

  7. I am just finding your blog now and reading through some of your older entries. Your strength is incredible, and I'm amazed at how easily you make me tear up with your moments of levity, while I'm wrapping my head around how that week may have felt for you and your family.

    1. Thank you so much for reading. *blush* How can you find the time?! Your blog was probably the first PWD blog I read and it gives me such hope for my girls!